The Most Patient Parent in the World

I have gotten a few e-mails lately complimenting me on my patience. I don't want to create the wrong impression and so I thought I would let y'all know that I am in fact very human. The past two weeks have really been a test on my endurance skills. Rick has been either out of state or at work working long hours or working on his Masters. He is very good to help and many times saves the day. The events that I am about to disclose did not necessarily occur in the order listed, however they did transpire in the past week and are listed nearly chronological. Here we go.
I was so tired and thinking I was being clever offered to pay Courtney and Brittney a dollar to watch the twins so I could take a nap. I woke up less than an hour later and after many interruptions to find the twins fingernails painted and my kitchen table sharing in the joy. I sanded down the table that night and re-polyurethane the top. Go to bed late, wake up early. The twins love the bar stools and have now found that if you push them around and use the counter you can get to about anything you want to. Even the hand sanitizer on top of the fridge. So after a few squirts and a few licks I found the twins with some pretty sore tummies. Lucky after a brief chat with poison control we find out that they have only had two cases where children actually have gotten intoxicated from it. After a few cupfuls of juice and some grapes their blood sugar levels are no longer low from the alcohol. While I am recovering that episode, I turn around to find the twins gone again and hiding in Courtney and Brittney's room where the begin to stuff all of their beads into their lotions and break their deodorant up into pieces and stick puzzle pieces in it for a decoration. Deep Breath and then the kids get home from school. Brian decides he wants to wear underwear, I get excited thinking maybe this time, hop in the shower and hear "Mom Brian wet himself." The next day I am feeling so proud because dinner is in the crock pot and I am just finishing whole wheat french bread, when Courtney walks in the door and reminds me she needs a cake for Young Woman's in an hour, no problem, meanwhile Sarah and Alex are fighting in the background. Brittney can't possibly be expected to take the dog out. "It's dirty" The twins are missing not a good sign, and the dog has been let out of it's kennel. Put the cakes in the oven, re account for all the kids while listening to a very beautiful, but loud violin, and stop a fight. And then I start to loose it when I hear Mom, Mom, Mom from three or four different sources. "Don't call my name right now, work it out on your own." I yell. This is the first sign that I am loosing it. The French Bread has fallen by now, call Rick ask him to pick up a loaf on the way home. Eat at 7:00 instead of 6:00 oh well, it's bed time. The next day finish up the preparations for Sarah's Kindergarten Valentines party, take Sarah to dance, pick up Courtney from school play practice, Take her home and run her to church basketball. Pick up Sarah from dance. Come home make dinner feed the kids. Take Courtney and Brittney to Theatre, luckily, Rick comes home to do that. Get the kids ready for bed while keeping an eye on the dog so she doesn't do her duty in the house. Dodge the light sabers that are being swung around me, stop one from hitting the ceiling fan and light fixture. Get hit the face by another hyper child's head and then I hit my limit and lost my temper. I yelled and put my kids in bed and then cried, because they all look so cute asleep and I just yelled at them, all of them.
I say my prayers and read my scriptures and then lay in bed and pray some more. And pray for the most impractical plea ever. "Please make me the most patient parent in the world." The Lord whispered. "That's what I am doing."